Thoughts From the Bottom Of The Fishbowl

I've been trying to make it a habit to ask "what's in it for me/what's in it for everyone else" as a kind of pro/con list when making decisions.

One reaction from people who don't think that way is that we should ask the first question last and the second question first. On the face of it, it seems like wisdom - should we not voluntarily give of ourselves for each other? Well, yah, a lot of the time that's the right and good thing to do.

However, in my life I've observed that for the most part the choice has been made for us. Whether it's privilege, looks, race, or luck, our society is bound by obligations. We demand that the lesser go out of their way to make the greater feel good about themselves and then call it being polite and professional. We elevate cruelty, selfish greed, and privilege as desirable traits that bleach away stains like gaslighting, bullying, abuse, and neglect.

Bottom line, as long as we value evil over any noble intention or good cause it simply isn't safe to put the last question first.