@actuallyautistic #
ActuallyAutisticSomething I'm struggling to make sense of.
I recently spent two months in Turkey. Our tickets and stay were paid for by family, otherwise this is something we could never afford to do.
I don't know how to think about the trip. It was amazing and magical. But it was also incredibly difficult, painful and unpleasant.
It was hard for both myself and my husband (who is also autistic) to be out of our routines and familiar environment. I struggled especially with the bright sunlight, constant low level conflict with family, and almost never being alone.
At times I was on the edge of melt down and getting constant intrusive thoughts about self harm.
But the places I saw and things I experienced were absolutely amazing.
I'm struggling with anger at being forced so far out of my window of tolerance, but I agreed to do this so that seems unfair of me. Also, it was a gift, I didn't have to pay? And it was genuinely amazing?